What is people pleasing: symptoms and triggers of this condition
People pleasing is the need to please others, to put others’ needs before one’s own, while sacrificing yourself. This type of disorder is widespread and is usually an indication of low self-esteem, and a symptom of depression. But it’s possible to get out of this toxic tunnel to return to valuing your one’s desires, learning to say “no” when needed.
People pleasing: the symptoms of this disorder
People pleasing can come with several symptoms that should put those who suffer from it on alert. First of all, there is a struggle to say “no” and feeling guilty if you have to repeat it.
This happens because you usually feel concerned about what others think and you’re afraid of getting a negative review. What mainly marks people with people pleasing is a low self-esteem and the need to always have an external approval; putting others and their needs first and forgetting their own needs.
People pleasing: causes and possible solutions
This mental disorder always has triggers, one of which is low self-esteem, probably resulting from trauma experienced during childhood. People pleaser do not to accept the idea of being worthy of attention, and thus put themselves aside, trying to satisfy the needs of others in order to achieve self-acceptance. Other factors are insecurity and a will for perfectionism, which leaves room for overwhelming disappointment in case of “failure.” And self-esteem also is affected. Sometimes it is also common to suffer from the so-called “imposter syndrome“, according to which a person is convinced that he or she does not deserve his or her achievements. All these characteristics often stem from painful experiences rooted in the past. Childhood traumas or toxic relationships, which have left a deep impression.
It is possible to fight people pleasing step by step, starting by saying “no” to small things and trying to make your needs clear to others. Establishing boundaries can be a starting point for resolving this mental disorder. Refraining from apologizing often and even for things for which you’re not personally accountable can help. However, if these things seem too difficult for you to put into practice on your own, you can always decide to seek the help and support of a therapist who can assist you on your journey to a newfound psychological well-being.
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